Changes - Flowing & Embracing Impermanence
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Hey Bestie,
Today is my BIRTHDAY! My golden birthday, even! 27 on October 27. Yay me! I've really been pushing myself these past few years to embrace my birthday and celebrate me as the shining light that I am <3 So today I'm planning to run around Portland all day getting my little freebies from Black Bear Diner, Fat Cupcake, Hot Lips Pizza, My Brother's Crawfish, Pip's Donuts, and the Everett House! These are on my list to go to this year, though two years ago I loved going to Fogo De Chao and getting a free desert. Anyway, I'm feeling surprisingly happy and light considering that life has been difficult lately.
Originally wanted a birthday week to celebrate — it's now next year's goal — where folx could join me for a variety of activities throughout the week, creating more opportunities to see the amazing people who make my life so magical, it's surreal. I come from a rough and tumble family, from a community of misfits and outliers to society, and I am so proud of that. But I honestly, couldn't imagine being where I am today, and I'm working to keep that momentum going. Embracing my nuanced emotions has been a lot easier since I started reconnecting with forgotten parts of me: like running and dance. But bestie, there is a part of me that is hurting something fierce. I have quite a few family members who are sick. For their privacy and respect with how my family handles things, I'll leave it there. But it weighs heavy on my heart. Especially after losing multiple uncles and friends throughout 2o25. But this is why I pray, why I run, why I light incense and leave out offerings. To honor old friends and family. To show gratitude and love for their teachings.
This year has reminded me that I am a Scorpio stellium, and my art is alchemizing pain. Healing myself and others through creativity and deep personal growth. That's my why. That's why I'm alive. Mahalo piha, thank you from the deepest reaches of my heart, to the countless plants, birds, animals, elements, community members, friends, and family who make me smile every day, even when the clouds are heavy and storms deafening.
With that reflection, maybe I'll write some poetry later. I used to be made fun of for my flowery speech and speaking in idioms or poetry. But I miss it. It's how I first learned English, back in K-2 — fun fact, I was an ESL student. Sure, my fancy words and weird phrasing makes me dramatic. But I assure you, my life is nowhere near mundane. And.. I wouldn't have it any other way <3
Bestie, I wanted to also follow up and ask you: what do you want to see more of in these letters? In my class / workshop offerings? What would you like me to rant and rave about? I'm always open for ideas, and am adaptable — it's the double edged sword of being ruled by Mercury ~
You can contact me at embodygabayan@gmail.com, message me on any of my social media, or fill out this Google Form. Mahalo, thank you for being here and learning more about me on this beautiful autumn day!
E Mālama Pono,
Kawika <3
In-person events HAPPENED! AND they continue to HAPPEN! Learn more below:
Foundational Astrology, an introduction to the world of astrology through the 12 signs, personal planets, and the 12 houses will be taking place at Kindness Farm on Sunday, November 2, 2025 from 1-3:30pm! This workshop will be sliding scale $30 - $100 / person, and tea, light snacks, and digital resources will be provided. Online offering coming next week <3
Our first Astrology Hours on TikTok yesterday was a HIT! Join me next Sunday if you missed it, I'll be answering questions and yapping about astrology, tarot, and really.. anything again! Every Sunday from 10AM-1PM PST! If you're not on TikTok, you can also hop into the Google Meet and join the conversation!
You can register for all of these offerings on my Planoly site!
Retrogrades
2025 | A Year of Retrogrades </3
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Retrogrades are a divisive topic in the astrology community. For many, it invokes fear, for a select few they can trigger excitement, but why do retrogrades create such a fuss when they happen? It all points back to energy and our limited perception of our reality. In a more literal sense, it looks like a planet is moving away from us for retrogrades, and they happen because not all planets travel around the sun the same way. Some planets are orbiting the sun in the opposite direction, some are doing so in an oval shape, and a lot of planets are spinning like a four year old who realized they can make themselves dizzy. Graphic below to showcase that:
Retrogrades are moments that ask us to slow down and check-in to see if we are embodying the energy of our charts and the energies of that season. If you're trying to act like a fiery Aries in the middle of January in Capricorn season, you're going to struggle. Especially if there is a retrograde going on that activates your chart — typically either placements, rulership, and their respective houses. As we're speaking, Uranus, Saturn, Neptune, Chiron, and both the South and North Node are all retrograde. Come around November 9, we'll have Mercury in Sagittarius go retrograde! Get ready for surprise confessions, deep philosophical conversations, and an opportunity to learn and talk about things that you didn't know possible. All while being on an unstable foundation that is shaken aggressively, for vibes ~
In all seriousness, a Mercury retrograde intensifies the energy that it embodies because that energy doesn't feel like it's flowing naturally through us. It feels like it's being tugged or pulled away from us. Which leads to miscommunications, self doubt, and the consequences that come with our communication being out of sorts. In my mind, Mercury retrogrades remind us to think before we speak — multiple times ideally. Because while air flows, it strikes suddenly and precisely without remorse. Paired with the drive and limitless expansion from Jupiter-ruled Sagittarius, Mercury can be blunt in its truth-seeking. This retrograde should amplify these conversations and inquiries into what is real, what is worth investing time into, and what feels natural. As this energy approaches, be mindful of any signs that might inform what's coming up for this retrograde: November 9 - November 29.
As I'm finishing this section, I'm reminded that some of us are born with planets retrograde in our natal chart. Which brings a different energy. Retrogrades might actually be moments of comfort, or extreme growth because of the prominence in the individuals' life. For example, I was born while both Jupiter and Saturn were retrograde. Saturn retrogrades have typically aligned with when I've come out of burnout and been able to focus on self-care in the past. As they approach, I know to be mindful of my energy and make sure that I'm not falling back into past trappings of workaholism. When Jupiter is in retrograde, I usually have a big rush of creativity, the most recent being that I wrote 3 songs, started The Artist's Way, and deepened my weaving practice while embracing my lover girl tendencies <3
How do you relate to retrogrades? What ways do you understand their lessons?
Mahalo, salamat pō, thank you, for reading this week's letter! I'm thinking of doing a weekly astrology check-in that is more in-depth soon. I'll keep y'all in the loop on that <3
Book an art class, tarot or astrology reading below:
Readings and Events are Live!!
This is a new journey for me and I'm building its foundation as we speak. Please share your interests, insights, and what you would like to learn and discover in future letters!
I'm currently creating educational resources, a Discord community, a podcast, and publishing opportunities for those interested <3